Man, it’s tough being Prophet. Today I fought an alien with a flamethrower built into his face. He was trying to kill a tree. It’s weird, ever since we built a giant dome over New York and accelerated the plant growth the alien population have gotten really serious about gardening. I took a picture of myself using the remote nano cam and waited for them to pass. You’re my only friend now, nano cam.
As a supersoldier fused into a nanosuit that gives me superpowers, I have few regrets, especially since that day I found out how to go to the toilet in this thing. There is one thing I’d do differently though. When the brass asked me if I wanted to “enter the nano dome to destroy the alien menace with this bow” I shouldn’t have said “hell yes.” Man, I really hate domes.
I remember how things used to be five years ago, roaming sunny beaches punching sheds to death. It was the best time. Now I’m forced to roam this broken city posing on logs, fighting aliens and taking pictures of myself. That way, maybe the people outside the dome will see, and finally understand. Being an invisible, super strong, super fast, well muscled, bro-tastic, robo-tastic supersoldier simply isn’t that awesome.
Apart from the parts where I get to shoot the bow. Those are pretty great.
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